Friday, December 31, 2010
New Years Resolution!
Yes, we are going to blog! That's our "couple" New Year's Resolution. We want to journal our family life better and this will be the best way to do it. At least one post a week (probably on Sunday nights) is our goal. So, Happy New Year 2011!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Settling In
Wow it's been a while since we've posted on here. Well, where to begin? The last few weeks/ months have been quite stressful, and joyful, as I've found most things in life are. Those two things in my life seem to co-exist quite a bit. After 5 years of living in our small starter home the time had come to move so a place that would offer a little more space for our ever growing family. That move happened last week. If someone would have asked me how long it takes to completely re-model a 1000 sq foot home while living in it (including having two children and three dogs) I would have told you that I had no idea. Today I can tell you it takes exactly 5 years. To the day. When we signed the dotted line to sell our house I had just finished putting the finishing touches on the paint less than an hour before. It was a bitter sweet feeling, leaving the place that we brought our two children home to. The place where we first became dog owners (as a married couple) and then dog owners again..... and again...3 dogs is enough. It was the place where our son James took his first steps (and consequently his first falls). It had been the location of many family diners, family prayers, and family home evenings. Its walls have also heard their share of swear words from fingers hit with hammers, and home projects gone wrong. It was more than just a house. It was our home. We are settling in to our new place. The difference from moving from a 2 bedroom to a 4 is a little overwhelming, 1100 sq ft to 2400 is a change. But were making the adjustment. James is enjoying his new room and running throughout the house as the dog chases him. Tiff and I are enjoying not having to remodel anything, because it's already done. (I trust it's only a matter of time before I find something to occupy my time =) ) We are all looking forward to making many new memories and making our new house our new home. WE are indeed grateful for all we have been blessed with.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Our New Baby Girl
When I was a kid my family and I took a trip down the Sabine River in east Texas. We were no strangers to boat trips, but these were uncharted waters for us. The Sabine was full of new things to look at for me, new places to camp, and with it's shares of unknown obstacles lurking just below the surface. I remember one of those obstacles ( a stump ) was hidden from our view as we made our way through the water. I was the first to spot it and yelled to my father who couldn't hear me over the noise of the motor and before we knew it we were thrown sideways on the log looking straight down into the water. I was wondering for a little bit how we were going to keep going if our boat capsized. All of our belongings would be soaked, and it was a long way from where we started. Luckily friends, who were traveling with us, turned their boats around and came back to help. So why do I share this story under the Title "Our New Baby Girl"? Because On the 13th my dear sweet wife gave birth to our sweet little girl, Jade. Once again I have found myself in uncharted waters. When our son James was born I can remember feeling an overwhelming sense of love for him come over me almost instantaneously. It was so strong I couldn't control my tears. I felt that same feeling for our little girl, only this time it was coupled with other feelings. I instantly began to look at the other little boys in the nursery differently and told them in my head that they better watch out if they ever came in contact with my daughter and tried to date her! I can also honestly say that in the past few years since James was born I have learned to change a diaper while being half asleep and being in the dark (I've done it a few times) but now... that's changed as well!! Do you realize you have to change a girls diaper differently than you change a boys? I am certainly in for a learning experience! It never ceases to amaze me how women are built so much stronger than us neanderthal men. My wife is completely amazing. She is my hero! Nothing makes me lover her more than standing by her side, holding her hand as she gave birth to our beautiful daughter. Daughter... wow, I have a daughter.... and a shotgun... watch out future son in law! She was 7 lbs 2 oz, born at 5:35, and 19 inches long. The most special part for me is that she was born on my birthday! Tiffany did great through the labor and delivery and is doing great now! I feel so blessed to have a wife as amazing as her. I'm sure that in the coming weeks and months the tasks of raising two kids compared to just one will not seem so daunting. The uncharted waters that I feel like I'm in now will seem less and less uncharted as our small family rides the current along. How grateful I am to have the love of a beautiful wife, and the love of two wonderful children to help me to see the great blessings that I have been given. Our sweet little Jade is absolutely precious. We are grateful to all those who share in our Joy and are grateful to have friends and family who help this journey so meaningful. Happy Birthday to me and baby jade! And congratulations mommy and James on the newest addition to our little family!
Jade's picture at the hospital can be seen by going to: http://www.gsmc.org/services/maternity-services/great-expectations/newborn-nursery/
Just type in her name or birthday (7/13/2009) and click on her name to see her pic. and all her birth info.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Grandpa's Request
My Grandpa Grubbs requested pictures be taken of their garden/yard for our family to see. I can't figure out any other way to accomplish this other than posting to my blog, but it was also time for an update anyway.
No, I have not had Baby Jade yet, but I saw the dr. yesterday and my body is progressing for active labor soon. So hopefully in the next week she will arrive and I'll do my best to post (or TJ will) as soon as possible. My friend, Rachel, and I have the exact same due date, but she's getting induced on June 30th if she doesn't go into labor before then and we were trying to go for delivery the same day. We're both having girls and we went through middle school and high school together. So, it would just be kinda cool to have them born on the same day. A few days apart isn't that big a deal, but we will just have to wait and see.
I'm working on trying to finish all the last minute things I want to accomplish in organizing and cleaning at my house. My nesting habits have been going for the last month, so I don't think it's any sure sign other than I want to be as ready as possible. My bags are packed for the hospital, but there's not a lot of food in my fridge so I plan to get that taken care of tomorrow (along with getting a pedicure for some relaxation time).
James is still keeping me going EVERYWHERE. He delights as well as tests my patience everyday, but isn't that what 2-year-olds do? He's doing great and interested in everything. He could play with his train tracks all day if I'd let him. Clifford and Peep & the Big Wide World are his favorite shows to watch and he can talk - boy can that boy talk! He surprises us all the
time with his memory so we always have to be extra careful about what we say. This picture is James in his lion towel. I'm so glad I got this because I don't think I could have ever gotten him out of the bathtub without a huge fit otherwise. Whether TJ or I give him a bath he wants to go to the other and say, "I want to be a lion for Mommy/Daddy." He will hide for a few minutes in the towel while we play with him like we can't find him and there's a lion in the house. He just loves it.Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Getting Ready for #2
Along with all the other normal things going on in our lives, we have been trying to prepare some for Baby Jade's arrival. I guess we never officially announced it on our blog, but you can see the timer so you know she's due July 9th. I'm hoping for the end of June since James was 1.5 weeks early from his due date and he weighed 8 lbs. 9 oz. I don't really want to go for a 10 lb. baby - totally ok with the more normal range in that category. So, that I will just have to wait and see.
Well, since we're less than two months and there's plenty to do, here's our list:
- Paint closet
- Install the closet organizer shelves and rods
- SPRING CLEAN (you know, all the special extras like moving furniture around to clean around it and scrubbing down windows and doors, etc.)
- After baby shower (which is May 30th - Thanks Kim, Rosa, Granny Hane, Felicia!), getting all the stuff organized and getting the rest of the stuff we need.
- Spend lots of time with James (I think we want to get him a gift "from Jade" too).
- Try to finish James' baby book so I don't feel like I've totally ignored his life since he was 3 months old.
- Work on my project for Jade although I know I won't finish it before she's born. I did a cross-stitch with a scripture for James and decided I wanted to make it a tradition for all of my kids. I found a really beautiful flower one to make with John 3:16. I'm not really crafty so I want my kids to have at least one thing I hand-made for them.
1 and 2 got done last week (mostly by TJ - Thanks BABE!) and I'm able to put everything back in the closet. Those organizing shelves make a HUGE difference when you live in a small house and have 2 small bedrooms with 4 people's stuff. I know there's always plenty to do just to get things ready for a baby and we won't really be "ready" anyway, but the thing I want is just to get to enjoy her and our family time when she gets here. So the more that's done before, the better.
James has also been getting ready for "Baby Jade." Here are some of his recent things:
- Sitting in his high chair yesterday I told him, "You and Jade will get to share your high chair." He said, "No, I'm sitting here." I told him he wouldn't have to have her sit with him, just when he wasn't sitting in it she would. He said, "Oh, ok."
- Ask him anytime who is in Mommy's belly and he says very matter-of-factly, "Baby Jade."
- When I'm going through clothes or diapers for Jade or anything else, he always knows who they are for, "Baby Jade."
- In his prayers sometimes he likes to say a long list of family to bless, but he always makes sure to include "Baby Harmony" (my cousin, Talli's little baby born in March), and "Baby Olivia" (my cousin, Breeze's baby born in December). I asked him one day if he could pray for Baby Jade too. He studied me for a second, looked at my belly, and then said, "Please bless Baby Jade too."
- Lastly, but also my favorite. I was reading to him in the glider chair in his room and Jade started to move around a lot after we finished and were just sitting, talking, and cuddling. He won't keep his hand on my belly long enough to feel anything, so I told him to watch my tummy to see Baby Jade move. He looked for about 5 seconds an
d then said, "Is she going 
to come out?" I just love my little boy!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Being Home & Adoption
It's been months since I posted anything. Wow! That's how much even a part-time job can take out of me. Officially this week I have no more birthmoms who are pregnant and as soon as I finish-up the last bit of my paperwork I am "just" at home again. "Just" doesn't mean being home is more menial or less important - far from! Being home is something I relish in and have become more appreciative of over the last 15 months of being in the outside workforce.
I didn't start working as an adoption counselor part-time (whatever that means) because I felt like I needed to work outside the home to fulfill myself - it was purely a financial cover to start off. I wasn't even looking for a job on Craiglist, but I ran across the posting last January (2008) when I was helping my mom look for work on there. I had been looking for part-time work for a few months, but nothing seemed to fit our financial needs that was worth it for me to do and still be at home most of the time. After finding it, TJ and I discussed it, prayed about it, and it felt like a good decision for us so I applied.
I didn't go to school majoring in social work to become a millionaire (HA! Anyone know a social worker by profession that even makes six figures, much less any more?). Adoption counseling with prospective birthmothers sounded like a really great opportunity I hadn't got to try yet in the social work field and I really thought it would be perfect since East Texas wasn't very busy for our agency. I was lucky that I had a gradual start with the job in that I really was working maybe only 10-15 hours per week for the first few months. Then something changed and pregnant women considering adoption started popping out of the woodworks of East Texas and my job became a lot more toward full-time and traveling a lot rather than being at home most of the time. Other factors played in with my time restraints and being home, but my job became a real focus of everything. I was lucky that most appointments I could schedule around my time, but there is no control as to when a birthmom goes into labor (as any pregnant woman can tell you). I hated to leave James when he was so upset and crying. Even though I knew it didn't take him long to calm down, I just didn't have my heart in my job to keep doing it. TJ's work had improved considerably and the financial importance wasn't there anymore. Then, we found out we were expecting our second child on Election Day and gave my notice in January expecting to finish sometime in April. I wanted to keep working with a couple birthmoms I'd been with for a while and go with them to delivery and placement.
The last couple weeks have been A LOT slower since my wondeful friend, Vee, was hired to replace me as the East Texas Adoption Counselor. My thoughts don't have to constantly focus on who I need to call and check on, who's dr. apt. is next, what are there needs, and how can I help them best with their adoption plan. I really get to focus on my family now and our home and what's most important to us.
Every social work job I've done has had a profound effect on my personally, and I don't see how it couldn't for every other social worker. I've seen people of all walks of life and I really learn the meaning of "love one another" that Christ teaches us first hand. You have to love the people you are trying to "help them help themselves" and better their lives. When I don't and I'm so overwhelmingly frustrated with them for whatever reason, I know I'm not really doing the work I need to. I wouldn't have met most of these people in any other way, and I'm grateful for each one of them and the things that I've learned.
However, never being part of the adoption process before, I truly am sooooooooo grateful for the privelage I've had to be a part of the lives of the people I've worked with and their adoption stories. The birthmothers, my colleagues, and adoptive parents, as well as even medical professionals have all been an inspiration to me in one way or another. I know anyone who has ever asked me about my job knows I could talk on and on about it. I will try to keep this minimal though.
However, never being part of the adoption process before, I truly am sooooooooo grateful for the privelage I've had to be a part of the lives of the people I've worked with and their adoption stories. The birthmothers, my colleagues, and adoptive parents, as well as even medical professionals have all been an inspiration to me in one way or another. I know anyone who has ever asked me about my job knows I could talk on and on about it. I will try to keep this minimal though.
In 15 months I've had the great privelage of being part of the adoption of 4 beautiful babies brought into this world by some of the most selfless women I know. The parents that have made long adoption plans and then changed their mind I can honestly say have done it for purely selfish reasons. It's never been about their child - their reasons for changing their minds have been about themselves. I'm not judging them for the decision they made because I don't know if being in any of their shoes I would be able to choose adoption. However, I know when a birthmother makes that most selfless sacrifice of herself and chooses adoption it is some of the greatest love I've ever witnessed. I pray for them to be comforted in their loss. Just because they choose adoption doesn't mean they don't suffer. They are the ones that don't have their precious child to hold when they go home and I know they have doubts and questions if they made the right decision afterwards. Who wouldn't? They are going on faith and hope that they made the best decision for their child they could by giving their precious child a loving family who can provide that very important aspect to a child a they grow - stability. I think stability isn't emphasized enough for children. Not just when they are very young, but even as they grow up to adulthood. Every birthmother I've met doesn't have this. People don't consider adoption as an option unless their lives are chaotic, even if that's not what they would say. Children are very often raised without stability in their lives and they survive. Yet I want my children to not just survive, but flourish and given every opportunity to grow and learn. Adoption is so much about love. Anyone that has asked me about my job outside my family and friends has immediately opened up and shared some personal story they have with adoption. It's amazing the blessing in people's lives. So, it's difficult for me to understand the bad feelings and total misunderstanding of adoption that so many people have. I guess you can't ever understand the miracle of adoption for a child until years down the road to see how their life turned out, whether adopted or not. Even if you know, you really don't know exactly how the alternative would have turned out.
It's really all about faith. Believing in something that you can't see down the road. I echo the same thing I read from an adoptive parent I met, "God bless the birthmothers of this world." You will probably never know who they are when you see them at the grocery store or gas station. They are girls and women (boys and men too) of all walks of life. You will never know their grief and loss over missing their child. But please don't judge them negatively for their decision. They are blessing millions of peoples lives all over the world (both their childs and adoptive parents) and no greater act of love except our Savior's do I know.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Memories & Traditions
Our family had a lot of traditions when I was growing up in Hallsville, TX. One of my favorites was every winter, just after thanksgiving, we would go to get our Christmas tree. I had several friends that had fake Christmas trees, but I always preferred the piney woods smell that accompanied that fresh-cut Virginia pine. In the early years we would drive down to Wal-mart or Brookshires and buy one from their lot, but later Mom and Dad found a Christmas tree farm in Kilgore, and we started going there. I can still remember the fun we had as we would go out, 
get on the hayride, and set off in search of the perfect tree. Sometimes my best friend Jordan would go with us, other times it was just the three of us. I can still remember that on several occasions Mom and I would find the perfect tree within the first 5 minutes, only to have Dad make us walk around another hour looking for a better one, and then ending up back at the original tree that Mom and I had found. I always thought that Dad must be unable to spot a good tree when he saw it, and I promised myself that when I had kids, I would never make them walk around for an hour, wasting time, if we found the perfect tree so quickly! We would then cut down the tree, load it onto the hay ride, and head in to pay for the tree and stand around the campfire, drinking hot chocolate and eating peanuts. Then it was off to the house to set the tree up and spend the evening together as a family putting on the ornaments, lights, and tinsel. But to me the best part about it was going to cut it ourselves. The first Christmas after Dad died, Mom and I kept the tradition going. Although it was much more difficult, the memories were there and helped us through that first hard Christmas. The only years that I haven't had a real Christmas tree was when I was a missionary in Colombia, and even then we got a few branches off a tree and put some ornaments on it. It has been a tradition that we have kept in our small family throughout the years that we have been married, and now that we're back in East Texas we go to the same Christmas tree farm I went to as a boy. Everything is still the same, the hay ride, the fire, the trees. I even found myself making everyone walk around an ex
tra hour, even though we saw the perfect tree as soon as we got off the hay ride ( I'm still a pro at spotting em'!) I have realized, as most grown up kids do, that dad wasn't tree spotting deficient, but knew that those moments with family were fleeting and wanted to spend as much time as he could with all of us. I only hope that our kids will continue the tradition to search for the perfect Christmas tree when they have families of their own one day. I am always reminded of our Savior at this time of year, and the great sacrifice he made so that we could enjoy those special moments in our lives. I am grateful for that, and for the memories that I have of Christmases past, memories made this year, and memories we will make in the future.
get on the hayride, and set off in search of the perfect tree. Sometimes my best friend Jordan would go with us, other times it was just the three of us. I can still remember that on several occasions Mom and I would find the perfect tree within the first 5 minutes, only to have Dad make us walk around another hour looking for a better one, and then ending up back at the original tree that Mom and I had found. I always thought that Dad must be unable to spot a good tree when he saw it, and I promised myself that when I had kids, I would never make them walk around for an hour, wasting time, if we found the perfect tree so quickly! We would then cut down the tree, load it onto the hay ride, and head in to pay for the tree and stand around the campfire, drinking hot chocolate and eating peanuts. Then it was off to the house to set the tree up and spend the evening together as a family putting on the ornaments, lights, and tinsel. But to me the best part about it was going to cut it ourselves. The first Christmas after Dad died, Mom and I kept the tradition going. Although it was much more difficult, the memories were there and helped us through that first hard Christmas. The only years that I haven't had a real Christmas tree was when I was a missionary in Colombia, and even then we got a few branches off a tree and put some ornaments on it. It has been a tradition that we have kept in our small family throughout the years that we have been married, and now that we're back in East Texas we go to the same Christmas tree farm I went to as a boy. Everything is still the same, the hay ride, the fire, the trees. I even found myself making everyone walk around an ex
tra hour, even though we saw the perfect tree as soon as we got off the hay ride ( I'm still a pro at spotting em'!) I have realized, as most grown up kids do, that dad wasn't tree spotting deficient, but knew that those moments with family were fleeting and wanted to spend as much time as he could with all of us. I only hope that our kids will continue the tradition to search for the perfect Christmas tree when they have families of their own one day. I am always reminded of our Savior at this time of year, and the great sacrifice he made so that we could enjoy those special moments in our lives. I am grateful for that, and for the memories that I have of Christmases past, memories made this year, and memories we will make in the future.
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